Thursday, February 09, 2006

Copyright Sucks


Just today I received a copy of the original (1967) version of Bedazzled, a film co-written by Dudley Moore and Peter Cook. This is no ordinary copy of the film, though. It's a shitty transfer to DVD from an old VHS copy, purchased on Ebay, and sent to me from England apparently by way of Thailand (???). No DVD menus. No extras. No letterbox. The sound often goes out of sync with the video. By all rights it's an abomination and an insult to the memory of Cook and Moore--but it's certainly better than nothing.

An even greater abomination, however, is a copyright system that incentivizes allowing the master stock of this absolutely classic film to deteriorate in some storage facility somewhere, because 20th Century Fox presumably won't make a profit on a DVD release. Bedazzled is, without question, not the only worthwhile film to fall victim to these perverse circumstances, created in large part by Disney lobbyists intent on keeping Mickey Mouse out of the public domain ('cause God knows what kind of horrors would then ensue!).

The film itself is hilarious. My favorite part is when Stanley, the protagonist, asks the Devil to make his love interest, Margaret, "lust" after him. The Devil suggests that Stanley be a pop star, and Stanley agrees. Cut to Stanley in an awesome mirrored suit singing this song while Margaret looks on with obvious ardor:

Love me! Love me!
Love me!
I'm on my knees
Won't you please
Come and love me?
Oh love me
I need you so
Please don't go!
Stay and love me!
Oh love me
Tell me you're full of yearning for me
Oh love me
Touch me and say that you can't live without me
Oh love me
Tell me you need me!
Touch me and say, "I've got to have you"
Oh, don't run away!
Oh, Love me! Love me!
Love me! Love me!

Immediately following Stanley's song, the Devil appears, as "Drembel Wedge and the Vegetations," to sing this song (and, in the process, stealing Margaret's attention away):

Ooooh I'm bedazzled
I don't care
Ooooh I'm bedazzled
So you said
You knock me out
I don't want you
You blast me off
I don't need you
You burn me up
I don't love you
You plug me in
Leave me alone
You switch me on
I'm self-contained
You light me up
Just go away!
I'm bedazzled, I'm bedazzled, I'm bedazzled

You glimmer
I'm fickle
You glitter
I'm cold
You shimmer
I'm shallow
You drive me wild, you drive me wild
You fill me with inertia

You knock me out
Don't get excited
You blast me off
Save your breath
You burn me up
Cool it!
You plug me in
I'm not interested
You switch me on
It's too much effort
You light me up
Don't you ever leave off?
I'm bedazzled, I'm bedazzled, I'm bedazzled
I'm not available

I understand that official DVD versions of the film exist, though they are region 2 or 4. Why the hell is that? If I had a bottomless wallet I'd consider getting a copy, along with a special region-free player, but I guess I still hold out hope that someday - perhaps around the same time as the end of the drug war and/or the war on terror - we'll see all this copyright craziness come to an end, and this and other fantastic but forgotten films will be available once again.

One tiny bit of trivia: the film's music was written by Dudley Moore himself (and it's pretty good, too), and a little sample of it is looped by Meat Beat Manifesto for the bed of the last track on Satyricon.

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